Revision Piece Introduction

For my revision piece I chose the blog we did about food traditions.  I chose this piece because I feel I did not do the best I could.  I feel I strive in writing pieces where I can express my voice and I don't feel I did here.  To be completely honest I just don't think I put anytime into the original piece and just whipped it out in a few minutes.  For example I wrote this "Eaten or not it wouldn't be the same without those wonderfully avoidable traditions my family has and shares together every year."  I'm not even sure what I meant by this so I'm not sure how I expected anyone else to know. It's also lacking a lot of voice and humor which I usually like to include to make people smile and stay intrigued... especially with my blogs since I can really utilize my strengths.  Although I did get a good grade on this, when I re-read it I was not impressed with how I did.  Don't people always say you are your biggest critic?  So if you aren't even impressed why should you expect other people to be.  I wanted to show that I've learn to express my voice exceptionally more from when I wrote the original piece so I hope you enjoy the re-write!